Personality, we all have one. But, what makes it what it is? Why am I this way? Where did my instincts and tendancies toward certain things come from? It didnt happen yesterday or last week even though that may be the first time I was faced with that particular situation. Enter Sigmund Freud.
Now the numbers 6 and 9-12 stick out like a sore thumb for me here. He suggested that the core of your personality was formed by the age of 6 and that the fully developed and unchangable personality that is you is complete between 9 and 12. Now while i may not be spot on accurate here, I do know for certain i am in the ball park. When i analyze my younger years i find this line of thought to be almost 100% accurate as it applies to me and while I took Phsycology like most other people, I do not feel the need to reference anyone elses point of view on this.
I started school at the age of 5. K through 6 at a catholic school. The 20 kinds in my class would become the same 20 kids i saw and sat with and played with and ate lunch with everyday of school for the span of those 7 years. Think about that. The same 20 kids from roughly 7am till 3pm 5 days a week for 9 months of the year for 7 years. Thats almost more time than you spend with anyone else during that time including family. There faces and names are burned in to my brain even now at 33. Vivid memories of all 7 of those years.
First off i didnt really have any friends of that group. I never played with them after school. Thats not to say i was hated or anything. You get used to being together as a group over time. Most of them had more financially stable families while my parents were divorced, times were tough. They had Nikes, I had whatever was generic and on sale. They got the newest cool toys when they came out, I didnt. We all had to wear the same uniforms so i was spared further ridicule. As a kid its difficult to understand why and can make for some difficult times. And since the class never changed over the years the impact this had was doubled. I have come to think of them as almost like family. They were there for so long and now as adults to bump into one is almost like visiting a brother or sister.
Anyway, as i grew up the desire for nice stuff was always huge. I am not a materialistic asshole by anymeans, but rather just like to have nice stuff. The most identifiable example is Oakley sunglasses as opposed to anything else. Well how can you attribute that to your childhood? Because it was beat in to me for 7 years by the same 20 kids. Thats what it was to be normal or cool or fit in. I am now wired that way and in the moments where you think about changing its like an instinct kicks in and says nope that goes against the moral fabric of everything that is you. I learned to get by without having any real close friends. The path to learning how to be alone and get used to it begins here. Because once school was out, i really didnt have anyone. A friend here or a friend there but could always count them on one hand. Still can today. I wouldnt mind having more, but instictively don't. Probably woouldnt know what to do if did lol.
Now this may sound like a tale of sorrow but it really isnt. When I look at how I became me and where my personality developed many of its characteristics, these 20 kids and that period of time is almost always at the core. Now after 6th grade I shifted to public school. I was completely unprepared for what awaited me, but that is another story....
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