The Best Friend

Everyone has had one in some form or fashion in their life.  This person is a unique combination of elements that allows them to fill many rolls at the same time depending on what your needs are.  They can be your brother, sister, friend, psychotherapist, mother, father, undertaker, eyes, ears, sidekick, the list goes on and on.  And they do any or all of these at the same time despite you already having and individual one of each of these somewhere else in your life. 

Now in my own opinion of the matter you can really only have ONE of these.  I have had several but never more than ONE in my life at a time.  For example my best friend during my high school years lives across the country, has a family and we dont get to see each other or talk as much.  He will always be my best friend and brother.  At the moment i have current best friend that lives here and someone ive grown close to.  Therefore he fills those shoes at this moment.  Some people may have many close friends that picking one is difficult or they feel they might betray someone else if they did.  Irrelavant, deep down inside there is always ONE go to person. 

The handful of people that have filled these roles are all very diverse people when compared to each other.  You might say each one was a good fit for that stage in my life.

There are a few things ive learned over the years however.  As a kid growing up you used to equate your best friend to the person you spent the most time with.  While this may have been true, as we get older this doesnt have to be the case.  Enter the quality vs quantity argument.  I used to also think once upon a time this person was there to take your side (supposedly becasue you thought alike or understood each other very well) for everything.  But through my own experiences being a best friend to other people there job is to also smack you up side the head and set your stupid ass straight.  Respect is also a large part.  If you have to worry about pissing off your own best friend then its not what you think it is.  Even with all the roles listed earlier, the one thing a best is NOT and should NOT be is a babysitter.  And im not talking about kids. 

The title of best friend isnt even a title, or label, or anything.  Its not something you have to acknowledge or work at.  IT JUST IS.  your best friend isnt punching a time clock and working at being your best friend.  this person just is.  Its a bond all its own.  Naturally developed and grown and nurtured through pure interaction.

Now a classic modern day argument is that your spouse or significant other should be your best friend or is your best friend.  This method of logic simply doesnt compute for me.  While you should absolutely be close to this person almost on that level it doesnt balance the equation for me.  These need to be 2 different people.  the raw emotion and love and all that stuff involved can cloud judgement and distort the functionality that is the core of the best friend.

The best friend is definately an important part for every part of life from childhood to senior citizen. 

In the end i have to say that the people who have been my best friends thought the various stages of my life have had an enormous impact on the person i have become.  I do not doubt that being that type of person to me was not easy at times and would like to think i acknowledged this much at the time.

Now your best friend is typically the person who requires no thanks or appreciation.  That doesnt mean you shouldnt do it anyway...

To be a Hero?

Im the guy that wants to be the hero.  More than anything else.  Always on the lookout.  Lots of "just in the knick of time" cliche goes through my head on a constant basis.  Put myself in harms way for the sake of someone else.  Tackle the would-be robber or kidnapper.  Tell the 2 guys arguing at the gas station to stfu b4 i beat both their asses.  True story.  Ok maybe its hero with some badass thrown in.  Certain movies with type of storyline strike at this sensitive area.  The Army did well creating and developing this...condition.  Though I must say the desire for this is more selfish than selfless by nature.  Is that a bad thing?  Would that alter the honorability of the deed at the time?  Would it change how people view the circumstances?  Does it really matter at all?

Ok so the gas station incident wasnt exactly being a hero.  But when a guy in his mid 20s threatens to beat up a guy in his 50s (and the old guy responds "do that and you will go to jail") because the old guy thinks he cut in line on a busy day of cars jockeying for position at the pump, the easiest way to end it was to step inbetween and put them in their place.  there must be something in tone of voice or how one carries themselves becasue the old guy didnt feel it needed to threaten cops on me even though i said id beat his ass like the other kid did. 

Anyway.  Glory and Honor!!!  Oh yeah.  Get some!!!  Do i really really really want to be a hero?  probably not as much as just wanting to kick some ass.  Its been so long i wonder if i even remember how.  I guess its like riding a bike.  But a hero doesnt always need to kick ass either.  Heros do all sorts of things these days.  I was out in the desert a few weeks ago.  Scouting out an abandon copper mine to go inside.  Found a guy who rolled his quad and fucked up his arm trying to walk back to the entrance where the gas station was.  Loaded him up and gave him a lift.  I swear this dude was gonna pass out.  His arm was swelling by the second.  You could see the bulges and watch it swell.  Fucking idiot.  didnt anyone tell you this trail is for advanced drivers?  whatever, saved his ass.  He did manage to call his friends for help on his cell but guess what.  That escalade sure as hell wasnt going to make it to where he was LOL. 

But i look for these things.  i am definately a dying breed.  Honor is a word used as the punchline of a bad joke.  We live in a world of people only out to get something out of everything by any means.  There is no sense of Duty in anything.  Its all about how little you can do in your 8 hour shift or how much you can fuck off and stay under the radar.  Its all about the paycheck but people are only willing to do the absolute minimum to get it.  People have lost the ability to rise above their environment be the best they can be.  Why do you do all that?  No one cares.  You dont get a bigger paycheck.  Why?  They just going to expect it all the time so you better fuck off more.  BECAUSE I CAN BITCH!!!  BECAUSE IM BETTER THAN YOU!!!  what more reason could you possibly need.  Why come in on your day off and spend 5 hours fixing that customers stuff instead of making them wait?  DUH.  Cuz thats being the hero.  In the words of Charlie Sheen....WINNING!!!

dont misunderstand.  i have my days where the hero button is definately turned off.  I have my days where i just want to watch the world burn in the hopes that the idiots will be cleansed...at least some of them. 

What is it to be a hero?  Well i cant fly...but then neither could Batman....

Being a Gamer

Where to begin?  I am a gamer.  This has to be one of the most misunderstood things of all time.  I started playing video games at the age of about 4 and have been ever since.  20 years is a long time to play and watch the evolution of video games.  "Arent you too old for video games"?  Are you kidding?  If you look at surveys you will find the average age of a gamer is 35-37 and have been playing games for at least 12 years.  By that logic im not old enough.  Well i must be a basement dwelling fat virgin then right?  Before i touch that one i will say that my hardcore addiction started at about age 20 and in the Army.  So no i am none of those. 

i have had many of the consoles.  Atari 2600, Nintendo, Super Nintendo, Playstation, Playstation2, Playstation3 and of course PC gaming.

What is gaming to me?  Id say a hobby, something i enjoy, or a good way of passing time.  Childish you might say?  Well i suppose i could be a pediphile instead.  Or maybe a crack dealer?  What about a rapist?  I mean these are all worthy more adult alternatives right?  Gaming is not very exspensive and that is one of the reasons i enjoy it so.  I can spend $60 on a game and get 120+ hours of enjoyment out of a good one.  Now i challange you to think of something you bought for $60 and got that kind of return.  thats 50cents per hour of enjoyment and complete satisfaction.  If only hookers were that cheap. 

My parents used to make me turn it off and go outside.  Now?  you will find them inside playing Wii bowling with their friends. 

Now dont get me wrong.  There are plenty of losers out there that give gamers a bad name.  The ones that forget to feed their kids or get married online and all that juicy stuff.  Gaming can be the greatest thing to keep your mind occupied.  Especially when times are tough or you need a distraction. 

There are even professional gamers out there that make more money than you or I.  Oh yeah.  And even those guys get laid. 

At the end of the day its my thing.  Some people watch TV, others build matchstick houses, me...I play video games. 

Humbug!!!

So there i was.  Its Saturday on Christmas Eve.  Im working.  Several customers to take care of with a variety of trouble versus installations.  Yes, my job has us do this.  Most customers are extremely grateful that im even working today.  They load me up with cookie and treats and stuff.  However, its the other type i want to talk about.  I give this customer the opportunity to be the first one of my day.  This person responds to me saying they have christmas stuff and family things to do today and can i come by late this afternoon to fix the problem?  Really?  Are you serious?  Am i just a lifeless servant with nothing better to do that wait for YOU to get home on christmas eve as my own family is patiently delaying its own events to accomodate me working?  Uh no.  So as i take a moment to take all the swear words out of my response, i respond with "well i hope to be attending my own family xmas stuff by then, i can have someone come on tuesday"?  Now this person chooses to act like i am causing the biggest inconvienence of his life.  OH NO, i cant wait until tuesday, we might die.  In the end they choose to be home and wait for me.

Now, what is wrong with this picture?  i can think of several things.  Has the spoiled brat sense of entitlement gotten that bad?  Should i have upheld the "customer first" bullshit to its highest and honored the request?  On any other saturday i probably would have.  But on this particular day i decided that the employee gets to come first.  when was the last time that happened for any of us?  if only for a second? 

On a side note.  I think back to various xmas pasts.  some away, some not, some with someone, some alone.  But this year I get to add a new experience to the list.  I really wanted to spend xmas with my someone special.  Circumstances did not allow for that to happen.  Its at that moment that I realized there is definately a diffenerence in being alone for a major holiday and being alone because the other simply cant be there.  There was this revealed sense of ignorance.  alones are not all created equal.  Kind of like the difference between simply missing a piece and  knowing where the missing piece is.

i was 19 the first time i spent a xmas away from home and family.  Overseas in Korea is about as far away as you can get before you start coming back.  Alone yes, but so were the rest of us.  Differeneces set aside for a day and we were all family...brothers.  As far away as it was, for a moment, you felt like you were at home. 

Since i can no longer concentrate as my mind is now wandering i will end this here....

...and to the person mentioned earlier...i miss you.

What happen to survival of the fittest?

So there I was, at the gas station getting a soda.  In front of me were 2 women in their 30s id say.  On the counter is pile of junk food.  Chips, chocolate, typical gas station stuff your face crap.  The one pauses to answer a text on her new Iphone4.  She then proceeds to pay for 2 packs of cigs with cash then asks the cashier if she can use EBT (food stamps) to pay for the junk food.  This particular gas station doesnt take EBT.  So naturally they left.  I know the fat cow trying to use the EBT has at least one small child becasue she works at a sports bar i watch football at.

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THIS WORLD?

This liberal sense of entitlement needs to go away.

To quote one of my all time favorite comic strips Calvin (Calvin & Hobbes) said "Happiness isnt good enough for me, I demand euphoria"

Which brings me to my next thought.  Welfare.  Lots of talk about having drug testing for welfare.  Absolutely, like weekly.  But my biggest problem is this.  Welfare is suppose to be a helping hand ot get you by so you can get back on your feet.  So what do people do?  They get pregnant so the welfare check will go up.  I think welfare should provide free birth control and if you get pregnant while in the system you get kicked out and are banned from any form of welfare, food stamps, or assistance FOR LIFE.  If you are struggling, having another baby isnt helping your disposition any.  "oh no what about those poor kids, you cant just turn your back on them and put them on the street"  Sure we can.  Its an old concept called SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST.  When a lion kills the alpha male of the pride and takes over the first thing he does is kill all the young.  Then he makes his own with the females of the pride.  Ok so the kids are a concern.  Easy.  Take them away and put them in foster care and up for adoption.  At that point any place is better than with deadbeat parents.  At that point i could care less if the adults go starve.  At least they have their $600 Iphone right? 

Now thats not to say there are precious few that use the system properly and get their life back on track.  I'm not talking about those. 

There needs to come a point where we as people and the system needs to tell some of these people if they can't pull their head out of their ass they are on their own....completely.

What about me?  I lost my job once.  Went and got unemployment and moved back into my parents house.  No welfare, no food stamps, i didnt need to go that far.  Four months i had a job, six months i was moved back out into my own place again.  It can be done. 

Here is the funny part.  Statisically, If you took a poll on the people that have a problem with this line of thought you will find that most of them are...liberal or democrat in some way.  Most not all.

But there is another part of this.  Oh yes.  Its todays generation of parents.  Not all but alot.  Every generation is determined to make it so their kids dont have it as hard as they did.  Well eventually kids of the future wont have to do anything at all if you follow that through to conclusion.  Kids and their sense of entitlement and not wanting to work.  McDonalds is beneath them.  They live at home sheltered there whole life and then are completely unprepared for the harsh dog eat dog nature of the world.  Then what?  Oh thats easy, just stay at home forever.  Even kids sports with the "everybody wins mentality"  Even Joe Montana has said that is the biggest bunch of bullshit ever.  Parents can't even dicipline their kids.  All of us over 30 im sure has a story of some harsh punishment that would get parents locked up in todays world but we turned out all right.

Ok im done the Packers are coming on soon.

"Life is tough, its even tougher when you're stupid". 

Veterans Day needs more hype

Some Definitions of a Veteran

1.  You have at least 180 days of regular active duty service and you were honorably discharged or released.

2.  You have at least 90 days of active duty service, at least one day of which was during wartime and you were honorably discharged or released

3.  You served in wartime and were awarded a Purple Heart or service-connected disability, or died, regardless of whether you completed the minimum length of active duty service.

4.  is a person who is experienced in a particular area, and is particularly used in Russia and the United States to refer to people with experience in the armed forces or law enforcement.

Veterans Day.  As a vet myself i declare this one of the most unappreciated and underobserved days on the calander.  If were up to me everyone who has served should get this day off with full pay, as it applies of course.  We always take time to appreciate the fallen and just say in general "support the troops".  Many people say it but then what do they actually do? 

I am going to share a few of my own personal experiences and stories from my Army time in an effort to talk about the types of things you don't get to hear about.

My particular unit in Korea was in a small valley, mountains on 3 sides.  It was on base tucked in the corner, everything was steep from roads to trails and steep stairs everywhere.  One day, a platoon was rotating their tanks through the ammo area.  It sits on one of the higher ledges.  Either the driver forgot to set the parking brake or it failed and the unmanned tank began to roll.  Over the ledge down the slope maybe 100 feet or more was one of the hooches.  A soldier who had just gotten off of 24 hour duty was in there sleeping.  He never saw what hit him.

Germany, a battalion was doing there winter field exercises.  There was snow and cold and all that.  It was chow time so the tanks were all parked.  for one reason or another 2 of them were parked facing each other relatively close.  One of the soldiers was walking by and one of the tanks started to slide on the slick snowy ground. it pinned him between the other tank almost cutting him in half.  He was concious.  Talking.  Laughing.  The 2 tanks were the only thing holding him together.  They went and got his wife and brought her tot he field so that they could say goodbye.  When the tanks were pulled apart what was one became two and he was no more.

Back in the states during another field excerise.  Mild terrain and broad daylight.  A tank commander was navigating his driver over some hilly sandy terrrain.  The sand gave way and the tank slid sideways and rolled over.  The commander tried to duck down inside but his microphone cord got caught on the machine gun.  He couldnt get all the way down inside.  When the tank finished rolling over his face was in a small puddle no more than an inch or 2 deep.  In the time it took the other to crewman in the turrent to get to him and cut the cord to pull him in he drown.

Combat action and suicide bombers are not the only way soldiers die.  These are the things you dont get to hear about and that everyone else takes for granted.  To put this in better perspective (although i do not think a civilian can truly understand) the rule is "train how you fight and fight how you train".  What does this mean?  Quite simply it means just becasue its practice or training doesnt mean you do anything differently.  Therefore there are still plenty of risks, but if you don't take those risks then you are not prepared should your time come for the real thing.

I will say though that soldiers of the last 10 years or so get treated better than say those of the Vietnam era.  I wasnt even alive and the stories i hear piss me off. 

Anyway.  Veterans Day, it should be on the same level as Christmas, Turkey Day, Labor Day, or its counterpart Memorial Day.  Yes, it should be that big of a deal. 

So while you are out and about, give a vet a hug, shake his/her hand, say thank you, and it doesnt just have to be on Veterans Day.

"in memory of"

OK, what is with this half ass formality of taking the time to recognize someone for their accomplishments AFTER they are dead?  Is this persons life just worthless until then?  I mean the person is dead now its not liek they really care anymore.  Oh well we just recognize this person for sake of their surviving family.  WTF?  There seems to be this misconception that there is more honor in doing it this way. 

Now you can look at this in a variety of situations.  Anything from a military ceremony, inheritance in a family, or a city naming a street after someone.  Why cant this be done while the person is alive?  Let them see and feel the appreciation that is being displayed.  "oh thank you for honoring my dead father, why the hell didnt you do it earlier when he could SEE IT".  Dumbasses all of them. 

As for myself i simply dont care what the world is going to do after im dead.  What does it matter at that point seriously?  My town just recently decided to name an alley (yes a frickin alley) after a vet who recently died of cancer.  Why did he have to die of the cancer before honoring him with an alley?  Is there some hidden nobility in dying from cancer?  I don't think so. 

Now from the military perspective i understand that its a little difficult to honor certain acts of heroism as the person typically dies in the process.  But for everything else there really is no excuse.  My Grandfather once said that while an inheritance is typically distributed after death, if you are able, it should start being distributed while alive.  So that you can take pleasure in what they do with it and perhaps even enjoy the moment with them.  There is simply too much that goes on after death that is simply labeled "in memory of".  Are accomplishments or actions any less significant during life?  Do they have to gain equity to be worth anything?  If i impact a persons life for the better or save a life, is that action worth more later than at that moment? 

Its pure laziness and stupidity if you ask me.  Ask yourself.  We all have some person in our lives that we would like to honor for the impact they had in our lives or for some other reason.  I would rather be able to honor that person while they are alive so they can feel the appreciation and share in the moment of recognition.  It is almost pointless to recognize them at all after death.  Kind of like a belated birthday card. 

If i do anything worthy of any kind of recognition and someone waits until after im dead to make mention...don't bother.  Recognize me while im alive, then remember me when im dead.