Monday, April 16, 2012

The Best Friend

Everyone has had one in some form or fashion in their life.  This person is a unique combination of elements that allows them to fill many rolls at the same time depending on what your needs are.  They can be your brother, sister, friend, psychotherapist, mother, father, undertaker, eyes, ears, sidekick, the list goes on and on.  And they do any or all of these at the same time despite you already having and individual one of each of these somewhere else in your life. 

Now in my own opinion of the matter you can really only have ONE of these.  I have had several but never more than ONE in my life at a time.  For example my best friend during my high school years lives across the country, has a family and we dont get to see each other or talk as much.  He will always be my best friend and brother.  At the moment i have current best friend that lives here and someone ive grown close to.  Therefore he fills those shoes at this moment.  Some people may have many close friends that picking one is difficult or they feel they might betray someone else if they did.  Irrelavant, deep down inside there is always ONE go to person. 

The handful of people that have filled these roles are all very diverse people when compared to each other.  You might say each one was a good fit for that stage in my life.

There are a few things ive learned over the years however.  As a kid growing up you used to equate your best friend to the person you spent the most time with.  While this may have been true, as we get older this doesnt have to be the case.  Enter the quality vs quantity argument.  I used to also think once upon a time this person was there to take your side (supposedly becasue you thought alike or understood each other very well) for everything.  But through my own experiences being a best friend to other people there job is to also smack you up side the head and set your stupid ass straight.  Respect is also a large part.  If you have to worry about pissing off your own best friend then its not what you think it is.  Even with all the roles listed earlier, the one thing a best is NOT and should NOT be is a babysitter.  And im not talking about kids. 

The title of best friend isnt even a title, or label, or anything.  Its not something you have to acknowledge or work at.  IT JUST IS.  your best friend isnt punching a time clock and working at being your best friend.  this person just is.  Its a bond all its own.  Naturally developed and grown and nurtured through pure interaction.

Now a classic modern day argument is that your spouse or significant other should be your best friend or is your best friend.  This method of logic simply doesnt compute for me.  While you should absolutely be close to this person almost on that level it doesnt balance the equation for me.  These need to be 2 different people.  the raw emotion and love and all that stuff involved can cloud judgement and distort the functionality that is the core of the best friend.

The best friend is definately an important part for every part of life from childhood to senior citizen. 

In the end i have to say that the people who have been my best friends thought the various stages of my life have had an enormous impact on the person i have become.  I do not doubt that being that type of person to me was not easy at times and would like to think i acknowledged this much at the time.

Now your best friend is typically the person who requires no thanks or appreciation.  That doesnt mean you shouldnt do it anyway...

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