To be or not to be...

I always wanted to be married by 25 and live the perceived normal life.  I am about to turn 34 and still havent tackled that one yet.  The longest relationship so far is 3 years.  Being alone is something i have gotten very good at.  This raises an interesting question.  How is it someone like me who deep inside really does want that someone special still manage to handle being alone so well?  Why is it that others i know cant handle it at all?

I try to operate on the premise that i'm not going to be alone forever.  This allows me to maximize and enjoy my alone time.  But does too much of this make it so you cant adapt when the time comes to be with someone?  in my early adult years moving around alot with the Army made it so that all attachments of any kind had to be left behind.  So a routine of sorts develops.  The types of things you do to keep your mind occupied that in a full blown relationship wouldn't really take place so much.  The routine becomes a lifestyle.  One that you become happy with and even enjoy.  But why is it that some people HAVE to have someone in their life ALL the time?

Is it because they havent developed that equilibrium with themselves being alone?  Is their own ego perhaps not strong enough to carry weight of reassuring themselves on its own?  Is the reverse true that if you spend all these years in a marrage or relationship that the notion of being alone is to scary to think about?  much like people like myself having been more or less alone ponder the situation of simply not being able to adapt to something as substantial as a super longterm relationship or marrage. 

Perhaps the most amazing part is how we look at these things.  A person committing their life to a single person from being alone is a happy transition?  Really?  So much so you get all dressed up and celebrate this loss of personal freedom.  Then there is the flip side.  Oh im so sorry you have ALL your freedom back.  Tough times ahead when you can do what ever you want.  Sounds kind of backwards.  But time and time again we as humans LOVE being tied down.  Kinda like a dog.  Screw running around the backyard, i want to be tied to the fence post on a 10 foot chain. 

A logical thought would be that somewhere exists a balance or a harmony.  What would it take to achieve this?  LOL see The Puzzle Piece Theory.

I often wonder if im too used to being alone.  That certain qualities required for a good relationship have been lost in translation.  Can they be learned again or remembered?  Or is the routine so embedded that it can't be changed?  The same could be said of the opposite.

Now while it is the natural order of things for us to co-exist in 2s (male and female to be VERY specific) its worth noting that it would seem there are plenty of factors that affect our ability to do this in what would be considered the ideal manner.

While i do live in America, one might say that a married man doesnt necessarily live in "the land of the free"....lol