When i signed those papers i was totally unprepared for what the Army experience was going to be like. Name your favorite military movie and thats probably what i was thinking. No amount of story telling or pictures can prepare you for what is in there. Its not just about killing. There is the brotherhood and the traditions. In fact, there is very little in the miltary that doesnt come from some kind of tradition. Some of those traditions are older than the country it defends.
Learn to put my life in someone elses hands? Are you fucking nuts? Or more simply the concept of teamwork. There is literally no aspect that can be done 100% solo or alone. You have to feed off the energy of those you serve with on some level, even if you are not aware of it. Sure plenty of people go in and come out and its no big deal. They have no idea. You have to "get into it". Much like...uh...football. Anyone can watch a game. But its the fan that truly "gets into it" that really gets something out of it or maximizes what it is. Learns all the rules the ins and outs to the point where you know every gesture, and what it means and why it happens. While that other person simply regergitates the score. Yes, there is a huge difference. I "got into it" and took with me the very core of what it is to be a part of a brotherhood.
I look around the civilian world. Concepts like these and many others simply dont exist. Its a dog eat dog world. But then thats how its structured. Teamwork? Laughable at best. I can look around and say that the only reason i see people step up to be a part of the "team" is for the gold star they put next to their own name on the fridge. The precious few people in this world that truly see beyond this narrow vision tend to want to be a part of something bigger and join the military anyway. Has anyone ever noticed that if by chance in the working world if 2 or more people that have served get put together for something that requires teamwork it automatically goes more smoothly?
I can look around at the people i work with and know that the only desire they have to help me is out of the selfish motivation that if they help me now then i am obligated to help them at some point later on.
Without the life threatening senario the bond or brotherhood can't be truly established. I mean if nothing is likely to happen then who cares right? But then if thats the line of thought, who can you really count on? And if thats the case why the need for the militaristic "you watch my back i watch yours" overtone? Well its simple, i am now wired that way. But then is that such a bad thing? Well I suppose if i wasnt so bound by that line of thought and relaxed it a bit i might have a few more friends. But then wouldnt they be fake friends?
The bottom line here is i miss a lot of the ideals i hold most dear being present in everyday life from everyone around me. People simply do not understand. On top of that you really cant even help them to understand. Its just one of those things that if you werent a part of it, no amount of pictures or story telling is going to convey anything even close to what it is or means.
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